Body Image

Trigger warning: I will be mentioning disordered eating in specifics. If you're uncomfortable reading this please don't feel you have to go on. Everyone is in a different place and goes through things differently.

So I'm currently in this super cool project at my college called the Peer Body Project. I had my first session last night and I have to talk about it because it's amazing and I feel like people don't talk about what I'm about to talk about nearly enough, if at all.

It's a group of about seven female undergraduates who gather together to talk about body image issues and how the world and society have created false views of what women should look like. There is more than one group, but for the first session, my group focused a lot on the media.

It's crazy to me that while TV shows have gotten better at diversity, the body diversity is still non-existent. I myself am quite a fan of pretty much every dating show that exists: Love Island, the Bachelor franchise, Too Hot to Handle, Are You The One, the list goes on and on. On those shows every single girl has long hair, tan skin, and is always skinny and showing off her bikini. Always. And on the extremely rare occasions someone has a different body type, they are humiliated in some way or drawn attention to in such ways that their weight becomes their defining personality. My personal opinion, having been overweight in my childhood and having felt pressured to starve myself after comparing myself to women on these shows, is that that's not okay! I do want to make it clear this isn't all shows.

We talked about celebrities and how "plus-sized" (this shouldn't be a word) women get roles like the funny best friend. Someone in the Peer Body Project critiqued the DUFF movie. For those of you who don't know, it's a movie where they took a beautiful girl and labeled her as the Designated Ugly and Fat Friend. We need to pay more attention to what the media is conveying to people.

A lot of it is money. People have so many ads for weight loss that aren't FDA approved, and they're praying on people's insecurities.

On social media and on magazines, people are computerized to look thinner than they are. Models are starved and pass out on runways. I don't understand how this isn't a problem to people, how people can scroll through their feeds and see people with eating disorders and tell them they look hot and sexy???

I myself struggled with an eating disorder in high school and it was not fun. In our Peer Body group, we talked about the consequences of listening to the media's "Perfect Woman" which we described as a woman having white teeth, an hourglass figure, a thin body, blonde or brunette hair, cute nails, tan skin, arms that aren't muscular or masculine, etc. We also were told to think about what the costs were for us when we followed this appearance ideal. I said a cost for me was that I replaced my joy for running with an obsession. I was no longer enjoying my runs because I would run off all my calories and energy each day I didn't approve of what I ate; it made me feel horrible about myself. It got so I was proud of myself for not eating. I still have a bad relationship with food to this day; I have to program my head and remind myself over and over again I'm allowed to enjoy dessert. I was obsessed with calories and tired all the time and borderline depressed from it. I thought thinness would make me likable and loveable but it only made me hate myself.

In the end, I talked about how I would never go back to that life because my life is so much better now. When I'm a healthy weight and don't listen to other people's opinions on how thin I need to be, I'm happier. I've gotten more done. I've done better in school and attracted more of the right people in my life.

I also volunteer at a crisis helpline, and when going through training, we covered tons of mental illnesses—except we didn't cover eating disorders. I had to bring it up myself. I don't think they're talked about nearly enough. There are girls AND guys right now starving themselves RIGHT NOW.

Obviously change isn't immediate but we should at least normalize posting real photos instead of filtered ones and stop reinforcing the "Perfect Woman" and "Perfect Man." We should realize that once we get to that perfection (which we won't because you can never win) that it offers only consequences and zero benefits. Thinness isn't happiness.

Be you. Everyone is different. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Eat when you want to.

I used to feel guilty every time I ate ice cream. Now I do it freely and I feel proud after because I'm unapologetically my healthy self.

Next time you feel fat, look in the mirror until you prove to yourself you're not. Before my next session, that's one of my homework assignments. I have to stand in front of a mirror and point out at least three good physical characteristics. I urge you to try the same.

If you are in a crisis and need help immediately, call 988 or continue to contact Crisis Text Line by texting “NEDA” to 741741 to be connected with a trained volunteer at Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line is an organization staffed by volunteers who provide free, 24/7 support via text message to individuals who are struggling with mental health, including eating disorders, and are experiencing crisis situations.