Got My First-Ever Tattoo

I was the girl in junior high who would practically brag about how I'd never get a tattoo. I would go on and on about how I didn't want it to get wrinkly someday, and I'd also openly admit to being chicken to the pain.

I'm a perfect example of how our wants change through the years. I think we don't become different people, but we grow and mature and we see through a different lens. I feel like metaphorically we wear a different pair of glasses each year of our lives, ones that start rose-colored and blinding but that become clear.

I'm probably not getting another tattoo. I just really wanted one with meaning. Over Thanksgiving, I started thinking about everyone I was grateful for and I realized the number one "person" I was grateful for wasn't a person at all, but a thing, an activity. WRITING. I always talk about how I've never been in love, but I'm not thinking when I say that because writing is my first love. It's the thing that got me up in the morning and that helped me cope as a child. I think I was bullied as a kid so that writing could find me and give me a way to cope. I think that writing saved me. In high school, I struggled with my mental health, and writing a book about it saved me yet again. Writing is a constant love. Divorce in this world happens a lot and it's scary, but writing is the one thing I've tried to leave but that I always come back to. It has helped me grow. Even if I never fall in love with a man, at least when I die I can say I fell in love with my notebook and it gave me a means with which to inspire the world. Writing gives me an avenue to help other people find their inanimate love, their calling.

Maybe I'm thinking too deep about it, but I'm a deep person. That's what I do. I won't be sorry for enjoying being a complex person. That's who I am.

As I'm sure you've probably already guessed, my tattoo revolves around writing. It's hearts and infinity with the word writer wrapped into it and I freaking love it! I guess I'm kinda going against the notorious act of branding yourself with a "lovers" name, but this one deserves it. This one isn't ever going to need to be removed. Writing is my purpose on this Earth.

I'm not saying writing is my life. I'm a person separate from writing, but writing is the means by which I write about my life. I do everything through writing. Of course relationships in my life and my beliefs are a big part of my life too, but I wouldn't be able to reflect or think about those relationships without a pen and paper.

I've gotten so many rejections, yet writing, the process of writing itself, has always been here and will always be here. Maybe publishing and me won't ever get to be super close, but I'll always have writing. That's why my tattoo says "writer" and not "author." You don't need to be published to be a writer. I'm published in a couple minor things but I like writer because it's inclusive of every single storyteller. There are more writers in this world than published writers. There's way more writers than writers who are able to pursue their passion without a backup plan. I'm a writer.

It's funny because I went through all these lengths to try to keep it from my family so I could surprise them. They aren't against tattoos, they just aren't huge tattoo people. It was funny when they found out literally ten seconds after I got the tattoo. I think it's proof I can't keep my passion away from anyone.

I'm not a tattoo person either. I'm a person of meaning. I like the idea of writing being on my skin forever because I know it'll be in my life forever.

Side note: this image is not my tattoo. I don't want to reveal it just yet lol. If I know you, you've probably already seen it. The image on here is just a really cool one I found on the Internet.

P.S. I'm also so grateful to myself for expecting the worst pain of my life because it made it seem like nothing. Pain was the least of my worries. I promise I'm not trying to persuade you to get a tattoo if you don't want to. But if you want to—