Interview with Adrienne Rich on Eating Disorders

*This was an assignment for my English class. I enjoyed it so much, I thought I'd share it :) *

Interviewer: Welcome back to the show, I’d love to introduce our next guest, Adrienne Rich. *pauses for applause* Adrienne is a poet and feminist, and a lot of her works speak about the oppression of women and lesbians. She’s been considered one of the most influential poets of the second half of the 20th century. She’s written some pretty eye-opening things that make me think again about a lot of topics, and so I decided to invite her here today to talk about modern-day eating disorders and how feminism and heteronormativity play a role on them. Everyone, Adrienne Rich. *more applause*

Adrienne Rich: Thank you so much for having me. Eating disorders, while it makes me happy to see that they’re at least being talked about more than they were in my day, I definitely think we still have a long way to go. There’s a lot to think about when it comes to how and why eating disorders develop, and what causes them to develop in society in the first place. A lot of times we hear about the what. In classrooms all the time, we hear about the different types of eating disorders and what they look like, but I think really digging into the how and why is more helpful for those in recovery. Self-acceptance is one hundred percent a protective factor, and self-acceptance can’t happen until someone understands there’s a problem in the first place, and they can’t know that until they find what’s causing their internal conflict.

Interviewer: You bring up a great point. I feel like there’s so much more I have left to learn. Could you maybe speak more on that?

Adrienne Rich: Of course. So, I don’t know how many people here have read my essay in their English class. It’s called the Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Experience. I know I’m known for being a poet, but it’s a work I’m very proud of. In that work, I talk a lot about how heterosexuality is normalized in society and how queerness is seen as deviant because it goes against heterosexuality. Society views men and women as only being attracted to the opposite sex, as well as having distinct gender roles in that heterosexual relationship. For instance, I talk a lot about the domination of men and how their power over women has been what has made women believe they’re heterosexual. Many women, because they aren’t given permission to test out their sexuality, simply assume they’re supposed to be with a man. Not to mention a lot of them grow up watching romance movies with only heterosexual couples and they think that’s how it’s supposed to be; they think they’re supposed to have a knight-and-shining-armor who is a man in real-life. I thought that too, and that’s why it was so hard for me to come out. Women are told that if they choose to be with a woman, they’re just trying to rebel against men. Everything is related back to men. I know what you’re thinking. How am I going to relate this to eating disorders?

Well, eating disorders develop in both genders. Let’s stress that first. We all know men and women both have eating disorders. Why they have them comes down to gender roles and heteronormativity. So there’s this thing called the appearance ideal, right? It’s the way the media and the way society expects us to look like at a certain point in time (it can change over time). Men believe they have to workout and lift and have that 6-pack. Why do they believe this? Because society has told men they have to be the strong one, they have to have muscles and be masculine and more dominating. So when they aren’t fulfilling their masculinity, when they don’t look like a brawny man, they start balk diets. They also start working out to lose weight to get those abs so they’re better able to run and do athletic things. For women, oftentimes restricting and getting that hourglass figure is what the appearance ideal looks like for them. Women are told that they have to be thin in the United States. In other cultures, the appearance ideal is different, which further shows how inaccurate it is when it comes to health. It’s simply an ideal due to gender roles and femininity and masculinity. Women are told they need to be super small because women are told they are the weak, submissive one in a heterosexual relationship. Also, men are the heads or leaders in heterosexuality, so women feeling like they need bigger breasts, thinner waists, and bigger butts, ideals that are impossible to achieve, it’s society telling them they need to drop weight for a man.

A lot of eating disorders form because a woman thinks in order for a man to love her, she needs to please him and look good for him. In heterosexual love stories, the woman is always smaller than the man, skinnier than the man, shorter than the man, and weaker than the man. That’s one of the reasons why you see women struggling with body image. Also, it’s important to note that females are changing their bodies for men. Men are changing their bodies to be tougher and to fit in, but usually their sole focus isn’t to please women. And that’s because we live in a world where a woman’s role is to please men. Men don’t feel like they have to change for women; they have to change for work and other things, but not for that. As a feminist, that’s an important distinction to make, is the difference in the motivations.

Interviewer: That’s a very important distinction. Now, how does all this relate to queerness?

Adrienne Rich: I’m glad you asked that. People who are members of the LGBTQ+ community, particularly people who are transgender, they have an increased likelihood of getting an eating disorder. As I’ve mentioned, it’s because of the gender roles and femininity and masculinity that heterosexuality teaches us. For example, I know someone who is a transgender woman. And she has come out and said she had an eating disorder because she felt like in order for people to believe or accept her as a woman, she had to be more feminine. She had to get rid of all the masculine parts of her or else she felt awful and people would treat her horribly. She needed a softer voice, she needed more delicate features, she needed to be small, she needed to be what society has come out and said women should be.

On the flipside, a transgender man may struggle as well with feeling like they need to start looking strong and built. And as for those who are lesbian or gay, such as myself, heterosexuality says we can’t be with people of the same sex. It’s extremely hard to accept yourself when you’re going against gender roles and you’re going against the norm.

Interviewer: Have you ever read On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Vuong? In it, there’s a character, Trevor, who purposefully wants the more masculine role during sex with another male due to internalized homophobia.

Adrienne Rich: Yes, that definitely can happen. It’s possible the other partner goes so far as to try to restrict eating to become more feminine than the other so they feel they’re still somewhat following the rules of heterosexuality. If I’m thinking of the right book, Little Dog wears a dress in the beginning, which is considered feminine. Also, Trevor teases him at one point about being more feminine for being too chicken, which is another gender role in that women are supposed to be the scared ones so the man can protect them and whatnot. If people who are queer are willing to act like a heterosexual couple via gender roles, it’s not shocking to me that they may try to alter their bodies to fit those roles as well, simply to fit in. It’s so sad that this happens, but it’s important to understand that it does. It’s not to say it’s the only cause of an eating disorder, but it is one, from what I’ve experienced and from what I’ve seen others experience.

Interview: Thank you so much for sharing that. I feel like even though we’ve gotten more accepting of different sexualities, I feel like we still have a long ways to go. Heterosexuality is still very much normalized, so much that it’s a privilege in society to be heterosexual. You’re treated better. You can go out in public and are less likely to face judgment. When you think about it, you don’t think it could affect something like eating habits or eating disorders, but society and media really does play a big role on them. And being aware that it’s happening, that even though the appearance ideal of the time may be normalized and liked in society, knowing that it isn’t necessarily a “healthy” ideal, is so important.

Adrienne Rich: Exactly. An appearance ideal body, or whether a body is feminine or masculine, has nothing to do with health. It’s simply an ideal. And I think learning about this and knowing that just because something is more liked in society doesn’t mean that it’s the only way or the right way to be, I think being able to recognize that is the first step to accepting yourself and your body for who and what it’s created and meant to be. It’s so easy to follow what other people are doing. But telling people what to look like, it can cost people their lives. Heteronormativity goes way, way back; let’s continue trying to make other sexualities normalized as well. It’s the first step in the right direction. If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, ask yourself why you’re having those thoughts, and why you want to look different than you are. If it has to do with how feminine or masculine or heterosexual you look, or if it’s just to fit in, remember those things are all social constructs. People created them, and you’re a person too, so who’s to say the people that made heteronormativity are any more qualified than you to say what is and what isn’t normal.

*applause*

Interviewer: Thanks so much Adrienne.

Adrienne Rich: Thanks for having me. Goodnight!

*lots of applause*