Is it Even Possible to Find The One in Today's World?

This is solely my personal opinion, and it does not reflect the views of everyone. Everyone has the right to their own opinion.

The other day, I was scrolling through Tik Tok and one of the videos that came up was talking about how the reason dating in today's generation is so hard is because of dating apps. They give people plenty of options, so if there's always another option, why commit to just one?

There are so many dating apps out there that each one has a different purpose. Bumble is for actual dating, Tinder is for hookups, Match is for people who want options, eharmony is for people looking for someone to marry, Hinge is for younger people who want something more serious than Tinder, and the list goes on and on. There's ones for specific groups too, ones for farmers and for Christians. There are endless apps. There are people that are on pretty much all of them. Dating apps are so large in our culture that we now symbolize a couple to be "official" when they delete their dating apps. Is it just me, or is that a red flag in itself?

Tinder is the app "for everyone" and it's the app made for hookups; to be honest, I think it's the mother of the hookup culture. In today's world, hooking up and ghosting is actually a pretty common occurrence. I'm not shaming hooking up in any way, but what about the people who don't like hooking up? Where do they go? What do they do? Before you say go on another app, I've seen the other apps and people want to hookup everywhere. So no, that's not a solution. What about the people who like to be connected with the person? Those poor people are told by society they should hookup and then they do and then they regret it because it was something the world told them to do, not what they wanted to do.

I've recently gone on a break from dating in general and it's crazy how much I've enjoyed it. I won't say who, but a recent someone came to me upset over a potential breakup and all I could think about was when I was like that. Getting a break from the "are we a thing or not?" and failed communication and overthinking has been amazing. I'm set on waiting for the right person to come and meeting them in person.

I'm just a tad bit worried if that's possible. Even if I do meet a great guy, he'll always have options, am I right? I know Tinder is too popular for me to dethrone, but I just wanted to say the elephant in the room. I wanted to get out there that love is possible and it's shown that love only happens from dates and deep talks. Hooking up doesn't play a role. It's like a fun thing, like a cherry on top, but it's just one part of a relationship.

Also, love and relationships take so much experience and practice. If young people are all hooking up and not dating and then decide they want to get married when their fun 20s are over, then they probably won't know what they're doing. I'm still bad at dating even though I know what I want. I had to learn the importance of communication in my past relationships. Relationships are not easy, and those heartbreaks are necessary. You can't just not study in school and then randomly get a job years down the road. You can't skip all the necessary steps. It doesn't work that way.

I'm a hopeless romantic if you haven't figured that out yet. I write romance for a reason. More specifically, I write YA coming-of-age mixed with romance for a reason: because relationships help you discover more about yourself and who you are.

I don't think we should get rid of dating apps, but I do think we should be careful with how many we're on and how we use them. When I was younger and more insecure and not ready, I went on there and it was like I found all the guys who were wrong for me. It was because I had no standards and just let men walk over me. Now that I've been alone and off the apps, it's so freeing. I do have a friend who was successful on the apps and it was because she was ready and she ducked from red flags; she has self-worth. I've discovered apps aren't for me and I want a meet-cute in real life, but if apps are for you, think about what you really want when you swipe. If you both want to hookup, cool. If not, cool.

For those who don't want to commit in this area though, my only question for you is why do you work hard at school and your passion and your job and with your family, but not this? Is it because of society? Ask yourself if what you're doing is really for you or if it's for society and others' approval of you.

The old me would've answered this question differently than she would now.