Red, White & Blue

Red for me is the flag, but it's also for the anger and romantic feelings I felt on my Fourth of July weekend. I'm not talking anger from the traffic, although it did have me mentally giving some drivers the bird (I'm too nonconfrontational to actually do it). I'm talking anger at myself from overthinking every little thing. It seems at least for me that when I'm on vacation to relax, my mind refuses it. It's like my mind is the Devil and the vacation is the Angel I can never quite reach. I forced myself to have fun, and that meant stranding my laptop and notebooks at home. I didn't bring anything tempting. It's the only way I don't eat chocolate every day, I just don't buy it so it isn't there to take. Red is all the good stuff too though like being with my boyfriend for a weekend and meeting his mom and cuddling and having talks we hadn't before the weekend started. Red overall is my breakthrough, personally and publicly.

White is the boredom. If anyone lives in Michigan, they know what I'm about to say before I get the chance to say it. The weather is good until it's not. The Weather App whatever-you-call-it is pretty much pointless because it could be proved wrong any time. It's like the universe's goal is to be cold when someone in the north wants it to be hot and to be hot when we want it to be cold. Had to miss fireworks, so no red, white, or blue there, which is why I'm writing about the other red, whites, and blues that I was fortunate enough to experience. I was up north for my weekend with my boyfriend and I learned doing nothing can also be fun, and losing at putt putt can never be fun.

I just realized that the first thing I think about when I see the color blue is sadness, and the simple fact of that makes me sad. It's sad that sadness takes up so much of our lives that it gets a whole color to itself. Even yellow has to share happiness with sun and suffer through being called one of the worst colors because of its inconspicuousness. Well my blue isn't sadness. I wasn't ever really sad over my holiday weekend. I'm gonna say blue is the water. It's the waves. It's the waves of ups and downs. Cheers to the breeze and to nature that is more put together than me sometimes. Cheers to the realization that I can make good changes in my life as I watch the light blue change to a dark blue the deeper out I look. I think blue is my favorite.