Speak Now

I'm going to start this blog off with saying that I classify myself as an introvert. I do definitely think I fall in the middle of that bell curve that they teach us in stats class, but I lean introvert. Once I get to know people, I'm an extrovert, but when it comes to meeting people for the first time or having small talk with strangers, well I'd rather be at home cuddled up with a book.

When I'm with my friends, I'm bouncing off the walls full of energy for no reason at all. I'm funny with my friends, AND chatty. Believe it or not.

I'm a weird case. I'm like an extrovert bottled inside an introvert body because I have so many messages and things I want to share with the world. Usually to get these messages out I write and my written words are the communication I use to share my thoughts with the world.

But recently I decided to get out of my comfort zone and to try to publicly speak out about a topic that's important to me: eating disorders and the appearance ideal. I hate public speaking, but I'm so passionate about the topic that it's not enough for me to write novels about it. I want to actually speak, even if it's just smaller groups in the community. So a lot of this week has been me planning everything out and all that, and having anxiety over the fact that come the fall I may actually have to speak in front of more than ten people at one time. I've kind of been freaking out.

I also have two virtual interviews. One was yesterday and I have another one coming up for a publishing company, and I'm so excited. But again, I'm nervous. I'm the type of person who has what it takes and I have so many experiences and stuff I want to talk about, but I don't know how to convey all of that to an interviewer without getting wordy. That's why I'm going to practice.

Practice is the key. It's what I've realized. I know sometimes it's hard to come out of your shell, and I'll never love talking to a bunch of strangers at once, but overall it feels good. It feels good to know I'm challenging myself and socializing with more people and getting to know more people. It feels good to be able to find something I'm scared to do and prove myself and others wrong that I can do it.

I used to think that forcing myself to put myself out there more was me trying to force myself to be someone I'm not. But I was wrong. Introverts have plenty of benefits, one being they're usually deeper thinkers because they keep more inside their heads. You can still be who you are, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to challenge yourself, nothing wrong at all!