To All of You

To My Crushes: 

Because of you, now I know why you are called “crushes” instead of “lovers.”

To Ex #1:

You knew you were my first, so you took advantage of that. 

To Ex #2:

You taught me communication; it is a lot less vague than it sounds.

To Ex #3:

When you told me you loved me just to get me to sleep with you, you gave me plenty of writing material. Thank you. 

To the Ex Who I’m Not Sure Counts:

We only went on a few dates because I found out I was a rebound. Thanks for the ax-throwing experience at High Caliber, but no thanks for all the lying. 

To Ex #4: 

I learned never to trust a guy like you. I let you drive us both on an electric scooter only for you to drive us into a wall and injure me. Okay, it is funny looking back. 

To Ex #5:

After dating you, I learned the unimportance of identical beliefs but the importance of respecting differences. You failed that test because no one could be right but you. 

To Ex #6: 

You were great to me, and I’m sorry I hurt you by ending things. I couldn’t ignore your red flags anymore,  the red flags I’m hoping you don’t have anymore. I hope I get invited to your wedding someday. I respect you. 

To My Hookups:

Thank you to the 90% of you who loved my body and thank you to the 10% of you that saw me as more than a body. 

To All of You,

I used to think the reason you never loved me was because I was unlovable, but now I know it’s because you didn’t deserve me. No one has loved me yet, but that doesn’t mean someone won’t.