What I've Learned Through Querying

This morning I checked my inbox and saw I got a full manuscript request! I've never had one before. With the same agency, I may have a chance to be an intern as well; I'm working on an assignment now to prove I have what it takes. I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up, but at the same time, I'm allowing myself to be excited. No matter what, even if I don't get a book deal with an agent, I have to remember that I can at least say I've gotten this far. I've only ever had partial requests, never this. And it's exciting! And terrifying!

The agency that is considering my manuscript is a great agency. They're unique and welcome ANYONE in their own creative way.

When I first started querying, I noticed that I relied on google for my search. I googled, "agents who are looking for romance and YA with mental health themes." That's it. This time, I looked at some of my favorite books and then looked up agent names included in their acknowledgment pages. My professor is the one who gave me the advice and it's helping me so much.

It's crazy what I've learned just from querying. Writing a book, that's obviously the first step, but there are so many other steps. Querying is its own thing that takes a bunch of practice. You have to teach yourself how to market and how to pitch your own project. The hardest thing is you have to coach yourself how to cope with rejection. I've had way, way more rejections happen to me than anything else.

It's gotten so I expect a rejection. When I saw this morning that I had a query response, I assumed it was a rejection until I saw it wasn't.

I wish I could say this full request has made me realize I'm all set and done and perfect now. No. If there's anything I've learned about being a writer, it's that you're going to feel disorganized and all over the place. You're never going to feel fully confident. You'll feel confident but not 100%. I felt great about my novel and I still do. I worked on it in workshop in classes and I revised it so many times, and it was still getting so many no's. I even felt like it was derailing progress because I went from getting partials to getting plain no's. The responses seemed to be getting worse.

But then out of nowhere came a full request. I think it shows just how subjective the business really is. You simply have to find the right one. It doesn't matter how many no's you get. My professor told me once, "All you need is one yes." And I've never felt that line as strongly as I do right now. It could be a brand new agency that takes a chance on you, and similarly to it doesn't matter where you go to college, it doesn't matter what agency as long as they are passionate about you and your project. You're the talent, you're what matter.

And I think that mentality is what's gotten me through the threatening nature of the market. I've always worried my mental health theme wouldn't fit in the market. I worried no one would like it. But I know that all I need is that one person to take a chance on me, and then the market will be fitting to my mental health theme and not the other way around.

Again, I have hope but at the same time, if this doesn't work out, all it does is inspire me to keep going.

I wanted to write this for anyone else out there struggling like me. The querying process is similar to the ups and downs of life. You don't continue to go up. You'll go up and down in random patterns.

I want to end it by thanking everyone who has rejected me because I wouldn't be the writer today or have the perseverance I have today if it weren't for you. I have plenty of people and agencies to respectfully prove wrong someday with their decision.

And I can't wait for that day.