When You Get Down on One Knee and the Publisher Refuses to Marry You

So you're ready. You're gonna do it. You're gonna get down on one knee and ask a publisher to publish your book that you put your heart and soul into finishing.

Spoiler Alert. They say no. Imagine falling in love with ten to twenty different people across your lifetime, and getting rejected every time you ask them to marry you. That's the heartbreak us writers feel. If you're a writer, you know what I mean. If you're a publisher, please say yes.

Picture your dream significant other. I don't know what they look like for you. But for me, he looks like a tall guy, cleanly-shaved (facial hair just isn't for me), with blonde or brown hair. I need someone sweet and romantic, and someone ambitious like me — but not more ambitious than me haha.

So. You've been going out with your dream person for years now. Just like you've been working on that novel for years on end, revising it and tossing it and then digging it out of the trash countless times. I've been there. And then it comes time for you to send that query and send that synopsis.

You kneel down and tell your lover (or whatever you prefer to call them) what they mean to you, and then they cut you off as if it's the finale of The Bachelor and you quickly realize you're the runner-up; and they tell you you're amazing but . . .

If you're a writer, you know the rest.

It's usually something like "Your story is intriguing but"

Or "You're a talented writer but"

Or "This is a great idea but"

Or even no response. Imagine your dream person running away.

It sounds like a robot is responding to you. "I'm sorry but your book doesn't fit my list." Well it doesn't fit anyone else's list either, so where does it belong???

And if you're me, your fiancé-to-be led you on and said yes but then went back on their word once you spent more time with them. I once was so excited about an agent. She had asked for a partial. She loved my idea. She was a mental health advocate and I wrote a book about mental health based on my own experiences. Writing the book was what got me through high school. And it meant the world to me. And I thought I finally found someone as excited about it as me. But I never got a response, and as soon as I reached out, she told me it wasn't right for her. It makes me wonder, do agents even look at our books? If you think about it, imagine how many amazing, resilient writers there are out there right now undiscovered just because an agent won't give them a chance.

I get it. Trust me. They have a lot to choose from. But still. I hope they're choosing the stories with unique perspectives that want to make readers feel things rather than books they think will get them more money. I know it's no one's fault. It's the market, but that's why I say let's turn the market upside-down and take risks on future sales that we can't quite see yet but that we can envision!

I'm going to keep proposing. And when I die, I'll either be a published author or I'll die having written 100 novels that won't ever be discovered. But they mean something to me. And I've come to realize that's enough for me.

But don't get me wrong. I'd still really love representation.

I want readers to feel what I've felt and have a better life because of my words. That's what motivates me to write. What motivates you?

The writing process is like love. A lot of people avoid it because they're scared of rejection or scared they'll get hurt. It's a scary thing. But at the end of the day, they have a part of them that needs love. Just like a writer has a part of them that needs to write.

That's why I still write. Because I have to.

I'm starting this blog to help writers get out there, including myself. I want to promote writers, give writing advice, and throw some creative works on here.

I'm ready to walk down the aisle.

But I refuse to wear white. Haha.