who knew I could hate laughter so much
Trigger Warning: This free verse mentions school shootings and the grief and emotions associated with it.
Before I had to come back to school,
you know,
After the shooting.
My biggest fear was the sadness.
I thought everyone would be crying,
committing truancy,
dodging the memorial sights,
but I was wrong.
What hurts the most
is how happy everyone looks
On the outside.
I hear a laugh,
a giggle down the hall
And is it wrong that I feel rage?
At the very least, the weather couldn't have been crappy??
Come on!
I feel guilty for smiling,
I feel like if I smile
then I'm no better than everyone else
That forgets the victims
and dismisses them as a statistic.
I'm no more deserving of a good life
Than Brian & Alexandra & Arielle all were.
They should be here laughing,
like they are in their photos.
Now their photos are really just photos.
I'll be back to finish writing this when the next shooting happens,
Because we all know it will happen
Unless—
If you or someone you know are struggling with the aftermath of a school shooting, please look into some of these resources:
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