Why I Decided Not to Go on A Mission Trip

This is my personal opinion and does not speak for anyone else except for me. What I say does not speak for all religious organizations either; this is simply my one experience with only one particular org. Generalizations can be harmful. The Christians I mention in this that I've come across are not representative of all Christians. Most Christians are super accepting of LGBTQ+. Judging someone because of their religion is a thing that happens. That is not my intention. I am only pointing out my experience with one group of people.

Trigger Warning: this talks about religion and politics and therefore can be a controversial, sensitive topic. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. My opinion has formed based on how I've been raised and on my life experiences. As we all have different experiences, it makes sense as to why we all have different stances.

I want to start this by saying anything I say is solely my opinion. I do respect the opposing side. Me and my best friend are on opposing sides, believe it or not, and we're still able to have a respectful, meaningful conversation. I like to think me and anyone who reads this can too.

I was planning on going to Portugal over the summer and I was so excited to take a step in my faith. I could've sworn I was being called to go, until in just the same intensity, I felt being called not to go. It all came down to the application questions.

One of the application questions asked me to talk about my sin. And I'm all for that. I will be the first to admit I'm not perfect and that I mess up. A lot. But it was what was in parentheses that made my blood boil. And if you know me personally, you know I usually don't feel anger. I'm usually relatively calm. But this made me literally start laughing in anger. I know I'm being annoying and doing that thing where I don't reveal what it is in order to build suspense. I know you want to know what it said. If you've ever applied to a mission trip, then you may already know.

In parentheses, it listed examples of potential sins to talk about. Included in the parentheses was the idea of same-sex attraction. I was shocked but not shocked at the same time. I know a lot of people who are very traditional and go by the Bible, I know most of them hold that belief. I don't though. It's not like I haven't read chunks of the Bible either. I've read parts (I'm still reading it), informed myself, and I'm still not convinced that homosexuality is a sin.

The way I see it, God created us all in his own way all for a reason and he created homosexuals just like he created heterosexuals. He loves us all. And by telling people they are "being gay" and "sinning" is so beyond inhumane in my opinion. First off, I believe telling someone else whether they are sinning or not is a sin because God is the only one who knows that stuff. It's only his business. Second off, homosexuality is NOT a choice. It's who they are and how God designed them to be. I've also studied God to be a very kind and loving God and there's no way he would ever be okay with the discrimination and "converting" other Christians (not all) do to members of the LGBTQ+ community. It makes me sick thinking about it. The God I know doesn't discriminate. The God I know doesn't see it as a sin, and I stand by that.

I do believe my experience has a lot to do with my beliefs. I'm someone who is empathetic and cares for everyone and wants everyone to be treated equally. I have many friends that are part of the LGBTQ+ community and I've seen them be treated unfairly. I'm a writer and so I've grown up reading classics that are all about minorities using their voice to get back rights they should've had in the first place. I've grown up pretty liberal to be completely honest, but something I've hated about society is that liberal and conservative have become solid labels. When I say solid, I mean they judge a person based off one belief they may have. I'm a very multifaceted person and so is everyone else. Just like liberals will disagree on things, Christians will disagree on things. I'm allowed to want to read the Bible and to also advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and those suffering with mental illnesses. I'm allowed.

Imagine a person who is homosexual trying to live out their life as a Christian and getting told simply living their life is wrong. That's like someone telling me I'm living my life wrong just because I'm here. I did nothing wrong, but it doesn't matter to them. I'm someone who has to be the best version of myself. I don't sin on purpose just because I know God will forgive me. No. I have to know I'm trying my best to be the best person I can be; if I sin, it's not intended. By telling those who are LGBTQ+ that who they are is a sin, how are they ever supposed to feel comfortable with trying to live their best life? They can't because them trying their hardest is never enough in the eyes of some Christians. How I interpret the Bible is how I interpret it, and us Christians should be able to respect both sides without expecting one side to change their view.

The God I know and our personal connection is what I focus on; sin and same-sex attraction will never be two words you will hear in the same sentence coming out of my mouth. And that's okay.

Please remember. We all have differences, the least we can do is respect each other.