Why You Should Treat Your Dates Like They're Interviews

I went on two dates recently. The first one went really well and the second one . . . didn't. I found that really being observant on the dates was how I was able to tell which guy I wanted to see again and which one I didn't.

When it comes to dates, they aren't exactly like an interview. It's not like you're looking for someone to be able to keep your business running. You're looking for a position that's even more important. You're looking for good posture and eye contact to show the person is interested in you, you're looking for kindness in the way they treat you and other people you encounter on your date, you're looking for honest answers when you ask them questions. There's so much more that goes into it.

I'd argue it's harder to find a significant other than it is to find a job. There are a lot of people out there, and finding the one for you can be difficult. There are a lot of people out there, for example, who have a college education or who went to trade school or who are just really good at whatever field they're interested in. There's a lot. But when it comes down to trying to find someone who is funny, sweet, cute, driven, motivated, loyal, and a good conversationalist, it gets harder and harder. Sure, those qualities exist everywhere, but finding one person who possesses them all is no easy feat. It takes a lot of interviews. And I mean a lot.

I still haven't found someone who meets all the criteria I need in a significant other. There's potential though!

Being an interviewer is a job that takes skill. I feel like I've grown over the years. Before, I'm not sure I could even call myself an interviewer. I was ignoring all the red flags on dates. My red flag was that I accepted literally everything I didn't deserve. But this time around, on a new round of interviews, I feel like I've improved a ton. I've been single a while now, so now I'm refreshed and know what I deserve and what not to settle for.

My first date went incredibly well. I had all the deep conversation I've always wanted to have. The guy was so nice and hard working too. He also has a passion for helping people and we simply clicked. I know it was a good interview because I never thought to check the time. I was so in the zone with talking to him that three hours passed by and I didn't even realize it. Everything he was saying was the perfect response. He's aligned with me in terms of views. We were straightforward and put everything on the table. We had all the hard conversations first before we let anything else happen. Knowing that I was able to find him makes me so happy because it means I've grown and that I'm no longer chasing after guys who may have attractive outsides but not insides. It felt so right, and I didn't even know there could be someone who fit me as well as he did until I met him.

Now, the second date I went on did not go well. The guy I went out with, his personality didn't match mine. He talked to me in a tone that seemed to hold the assumption that he was better than me. The entire talk, I was checking the time and wanting it to be over. He did have good qualities, just not all of the qualities. He wasn't a good fit. Because I saw the date as an interview, I was able to see that. The old me would've continued to go out with him.

I recommend trying to see first dates as interviews because it prevents you from settling. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first. Even if a guy is super nice, it's possible he's just not right for you. Writing a list of what you're looking for is great homework to do before the big first date.